Endy, a Bountiful resident, is the director of the Family Counseling Service in Ogden.
He offered his perspective of the growing child abuse problem -- high on the national and local Exchange Clubs' list of problems to be alleviated, and presented eye-opening statistics, such as in the United States, a child dies from abuse and neglect once every three minutes and worldwide a child dies from abuse or neglect every three seconds.
As an Exchange Club member himself, Endy told the Bountiful club members, "There's a part of us that really understands. We really want to stop this."
But child abuse is often not a cut-and-dried issue, nor does it have an easy definition.
"There are factors most of us would agree on as being child abuse," he said, but there are often mitigating circumstances.
Endy worked as a counselor in a prison for four years.
There he met an inmate serving time on child abuse charges. The man told Endy that as a boy he had been beaten by his father with a belt, a coat hanger and an extension cord.
"I don't know why, but I asked him if he ever did anything to provoke his father and he said, 'Oh, God, yeah. I'd curse my mother, I wouldn't come when he would tell me to come here, and I wouldn't go to school.' He was engaged in oppositional defiant disorder," Endy said, explaining that while he wasn't excusing the father's actions, the man was punishing his son for his escalating behaviors, trying to bring the young man into compliance, and it didn't work.
Endy said that kind of reaction can often be seen in ADHD children, who are frequently viewed as being deliberately disobedient if the condition hasn't been diagnosed. He said ADHD is treatable if it is diagnosed.
He told of a 4-year-old ADHD child who had been abused by his mother's boyfriend, who thought the child was deliberately being disobedient. Endy wanted to work with the family, but the mother refused treatment for her son, because she had a borderline personality disorder herself and wanted the focus of attention for herself.
Those with borderline personality disorder typically have wild mood swings, and have problems with relationships, self-image, identity and behavior.
Endy also said that studies done by Dr. Murray Straus, of the University of New Hampshire, show that in 42 percent of domestic violence cases, the woman was the perpetrator.
He told a story of a man who was interviewed by police on domestic abuse charges for forcefully throwing a shoe at his wife, which caused bruising.
When the officer asked the man if that's what happened the man admitted he had thrown the shoe, but added his wife had thrown the shoe at him first and had missed. He was retaliating.
mwilliams@davisclipper.com
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